another little experiment

red dirt, rust, tsukineko inks etc on cotton.

copyright Jennifer A Schultz 2013

an aside

I would have been a goth if I hadn't moved to Georgia in '97. I was primed -- all the music, and to some degree the art and fashion side of the scene. Even after I had the kid, I had punked-out black and orange hair (a move I did NOT make while living in GA), had garnered several tattoos, and had largely the same set of musical tastes. But at some point -- somewhere between giving birth and going to work for the church -- I thought it was time to "grow up." And I've been a fairly successful grownup. I have most of the trappings including marriage for 16 years and holding the same job for 8 years now; have made some of the mistakes. I take Zoloft, and have successfully reached 45 years of age, or "mid-life."

Which is probably why I've started dreaming I'm Lisbeth Salander in the Swedish film version of  GWtDT.

Noomi Rapace, whose character seems more mature and self-reliant than the anemic, childlike Rooney Mara's. 

Something about hearkening back to the almost-goth self is very comforting. I suppose I'm unsatisfied with the woman I've grown into. I've made a sincere effort to show the world a lot of love, but I'm feeling fairly drained now. Not super-cynical, but pissed off about the world and a bunch of the nonsense I've experienced lately. Weary of putting everyone first, and constantly being told I'm not doing enough for someone. While there's no excuse to go back on being a parent, and I can ungrudgingly do my best in that department, I do feel like letting a bunch of other things slide. That won't last, I suppose. But maybe there's a middle ground -- between the 25 year old Goth I wasn't, and the somewhat-too-martyr-like female I've become. This of course draws a bunch of positional conclusions about being goth that are I'm sure very personality-dependent, as everything must be. Tough and independent -- some people would already call me that. Some most assuredly would not. 

Self-expression. That's a question. And why it doesn't seem out of place to talk about this on what is ostensibly an "art blog."

Of course the fictional Lisbeth Salander wouldn't have been caught dead spilling her guts in public. But then I wasn't sexually abused as a child, and can be heartily grateful, since I know so very many women and men who were.   

It's just a point. It's a t-shirt: "Fuck you fucking fuckers," that Lisbeth wears in one of the American movies. 

It's the women my age and older who I know, who are mouthy, independent and controversial. It's the stereotypes about looks and dress and age. It's the musical preferences of the men I know, whose masculine frowns I take too much to heart. It's my desire to be liked by everyone. 

This isn't an anti-male rant, by the way. I like men just fine. But it has become apparent that I really CAN'T please everyone. Or sometimes, anyone. Except myself. 

  

From "The Textile Blog" -

"In many ways, like the children's puzzles and like the labyrinths and mazes throughout history, our eyes can never seem to resist the temptation of complexity. Although we often translate complexity into accomplishment, the involved into skill, and while this is often true, all-over undulating and intertwining pattern can also reflect the wonder that is the complexity of our own lives as well as the world we see around us. We may not always understand consciously, but subconsciously we are supremely aware of the complex framework of dependency in which we are all suspended, we feel it compulsively, naturally, even as we run our hands in wonder over the filigree intricacy of jewellery, or the complex embellishment of embroidery, or the astounding involvement of lace.

The connection between our own complexity and that of the pattern we admire is one and the same."

keep on doing...

Another progress shot for "going to seed." 

possibly maybe

In the realms of professional development there are a few more exciting announcements ~
!!!
First, I've had a piece accepted into the Altered Esthetics show "Knot What It Seams," which opens December 6, 2013. A small exhibit of local fiber artists, and I'm excited, hoping I will meet some new folks and see some inspiring work!

Second, I have made an informal agreement to take on a third of a studio space, in Northeast Minneapolis' best known artist community, the Northrup King Building. This relationship commences January 1. Budget budget budget. The space is large, reasonably well lit, and contains facilities for synthetic dyeing and "cooking up" organic dye projects. Whee!

And finally, I had a portfolio review yesterday and got some great advice on how I can update my website, my CV and my "brand" for better self-promotion. So, all in all a good week for art!

I think the next piece will be called "Fall Down Trying" --- we'll see. 

waiting

My boro book came last week, and I tore through it (no pun intended - fiber geek humor.) And immediately started a piece inspired in part by that aesthetic (cure for pain)... Having recovered from her head cold (yay!), Sweet Pea has mailed my free beads in chosen shades of orange and red (like waiting for a box of chocolates in the mail)...And after too long a delay, I've renewed my subscription to Selvedge, and while there on the site, purchased some fine Retors du Nord embroidery thread...all of which has shipped from the UK by now I hope...And I wonder why I have no money?

I was very selfish today and spent a considerable amount of time sewing. Though I did take a break to visit my friend JC, who is recovering from hip surgery, with another artist, Kristin. And later, to read to my son before bed. And, did some laundry/housekeeping. But mostly I sewed. Taking a break the past week, from dyeing and stitching on "Going to Seed," to work on something that spontaneously arose -- "Cure for Pain" -- see below for an image. It's all hand-dyed and recycled fabric, and hand-sewn. And yeah, it's pretty abstract. I'm letting it happen. The other piece, GtS, has an objective -- or feels like it does -- it's larger, with a complex composition and recognizable imagery. It will take longer. It requires my full attention. This other little piece has arisen out of the seduction of recently dyed silk and organza...the feel of worn-out pillow shams being put to use...the repetitive hand-sewing that counts itself as it calms. Stitching a grid, like a tiny quilt its layers come together. But too the stitches feel like hypodermic marks, or minute points of light. And all of it, in its dense attention to marks and layers, is therapeutic. Time is marked away. Hurtful conversations come and go, along with good moments, and a lot in between. Maybe I should call it "Marking Time." But when I started this, the song "Cure for Pain" was what popped into my head, and maybe that's more to the point. There have been lots of difficult days again lately. This activity is sanity.

another work in progress

Cure for Pain

just a few more...

...from the maple series...

this piece is vintage organza, and elm leaves.

maple series

Another weekend of purple fingers and surprise packages. 

When I unroll the damp cloths after they've set the scent of leafmold and tannin reminds me strongly of childhood; specifically those days (hundreds) spent poking around wooded vacant lots, or playing in the wildlife reserve near an uncle's house. Nothing pleased me more as a young girl than to be alone, exploring the landscape, overlaying it with an imaginary narrative of my own. Fairies and monsters, sure, as a young girl; later I began to the see the natural world as fascinating in its own right. 

Maple leaves on vintage cotton pillowcase. 

Purple is a fermented tanin sprayed on before I placed the leaves. 

I sewed and sewed this weekend. Completed a small piece. Considered a series: "Cure for Pain" 

Credit to Morphine.